If you’re going through fertility treatment, chances are it’s happened to you.
I’m talking about the cancelled cycle. When your doctor or nurse calls you and tells you that you won’t be proceeding with treatment and have to sit out that month.
Cycles can be cancelled for lots of reasons. You could have ovarian cysts, your hormone levels might not be where your doctor is hoping for the best chances of a successful cycle, or you could be over- or under-responding to your medication.
Whatever the reason, when it happens it ‘s hard. You’ve endured the physical and emotional side effects of medication. You’ve gotten your hopes up for the cycle and then you find out you’re not even going to have a chance to try. It can be just disappointing or it can be completely devastating. It can be either a temporary setback or it can inch you closer to the end of your journey.
When it happened to me I realized for the first time that I had not only invested my money, I made a huge emotional investment into my treatment.
I had two cancelled cycles. The first one was early in my journey. I’d had two Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) procedures. The first had given me a positive pregnancy test but early testing showed the embryo wasn’t viable and I had my second miscarriage. The second IUI had been unsuccessful. What would have been the third cycle was cancelled because I had cysts and my hormone levels were crazy.
I wasn’t completely surprised, because I had been charting my basal body temperatures and my temperatures were all over the map leading up to the start of the cancelled cycle, which told me that my hormones were erratic. Even though it wasn’t a shock, I was still pretty upset when it happened. I felt like, great, my body is so broken down I can’t even handle basic fertility treatment – because IUI is a pretty basic treatment, and at that time I was only taking clomid, not injectable medication.
The second cancelled cycle came just last year. We were trying for our second child and had had two unsuccessful IUIs. On the third cycle I wasn’t responding to medication and my estrogen level, which should increase during the follicular phase of the cycle, was holding steady.
When this cycle was cancelled I knew in my heart that a second child wasn’t meant to be for us, and that my journey was over. Part of that grief process for me was accepting that my journey ended with a cancelled cycle, rather than a solid attempt at conception.
There are ways you can cope with a cancelled cycle, though. The suggestions below can help you can help you emerge from a cancelled cycle stronger and with greater resolve to continue on your journey.
Have you had a cycle cancelled? How did it make you feel? How did you regroup and move on with your treatment? I’d love to hear from you – leave me a comment below!
Lots of love to you,
Stephanie
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