Living Your Legend – With or Without Children

Cheers, dear readers, So many of these blog posts here at Slow Swimmers & Fried Eggs are difficult for Eric and I to write. But I have to say that this one wins the dubious honor of being one of the toughest so far. I recently lost someone I consider a dear friend, a trusted mentor and a valued colleague in a tragic freak accident that occurred while he was about to achieve one of his most coveted accomplishments – reaching the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Many can attest that he was at the pinnacle of his career while also at the pinnacle of this formidable and beautiful piece of nature, together with the love of his life his beautiful wife Chelsea. They had just celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary just weeks prior while they were on a one-year worldwide tour – an epic adventure that they had been planning for ten years! I would bet my bottom dollar that they were planning to start a family upon their return from this incredible hand-in-hand journey together. However, the universe had other plans for the dynamic duo, and now there is only one left in physical form on earth, left with her sorrow (that she shares with so many others who knew this great man), left with the memories and the shattered dreams of what could have been – their future together. I am not telling you this story to sadden you. I am telling you this story to wake you up to a very important point this week. This man Scott Dinsmore’s mission and lifetime goal was to help each and every person on this planet live their own legend – make a difference – find and do work they love (see his work at liveyourlegend.net). He put every ounce of his being into this effort. Yet he left this world tragically at the tender and young age of 33. BUT did he leave his mark in that short amount of time even though he does not have children to carry on his legacy in the Dinsmore family line? Did he make a lasting impact on this planet and live a good life? Did he help teach many people valuable lessons even though he did not get to teach his own children those same very lessons? I would scream this from my local mountain top if I could, but the answer is a resounding, loud and lasting YES! Indeed, he lived enough for three lives in those 33 years. He educated, inspired, guided and ignited tens of thousands of people all over the world by his teachings, his insightful words and his incredible example every single day of his life. Here’s some of Scott’s wisdom that I will share with you here: A) We are meant to do the work we love. The world needs it. I believe the world would be an altogether different place if we all did work that actually mattered to us… to make an impact that only you can make. B) These three pillars, they all have one thing in common – they are 100% in our control. 1) No one can tell you you can’t learn about yourself. 2) No one can tell you you can’t push your limits and learn your own impossible and push that. 3) No one can tell you you can’t surround yourself with inspiring people or get away from the people that bring you down … You can’t control a recession, you can’t control getting fired or getting in a car accident. Most things are totally out of our hands. These three things are totally on us. C) People that haven’t spent the time working out what matters most to them, they keep reaching for something … but we are doing it because everyone said we are supposed to. D) We are all leaders – we are all followers. We dance together. A crazy dancing fool only becomes a movement when that second person decides to stand up and dances alongside him. Not as their follower, but as their equal. E) No matter your vision, you are where the change begins. All of us are where it starts. Live out what you want to see the world become. Inspire the people around you by doing the things that inspire you. F) Regret is what you should fear most. A line from Scott’s favorite song is “I Was Here” by Beyoncé: “When I leave this world, I’ll leave with no regrets. Leave something to remember so they won’t forget. I was here.” G) What is the work that you can’t not do? Discover it. Live it. Not just for you but for everybody around you. Because that is what starts to change the world. What is the work that I can’t not do? Writing this blog about our struggles with infertility, how we overcame them together hand in hand, and how we found a meaningful and fulfilling life without children is work that I can’t NOT do. I’m doing it right now, with every word that I share here. Scott was a visionary, a wise sage and a revolutionary. He inspired thousands to love, live fully and proudly through work that made them come alive. I found Scott’s teaching when I was trying to rebuild my life after failed infertility treatments in a world where we are all taught that to be fulfilled, we must have children to carry on our legacy and share our wisdom that we have gained through our experience on earth. Yet Scott is a perfect example of someone who positively affected thousands, created a movement and ignited a fire that will not go out. Scott lived each day with integrity, vulnerability, kindness and a sense of adventure, living each day to its fullest. Through his fine example, I was able to pull my life back together, piece by piece, brick by brick, moment by moment, and remember why life was worth living, finding a path to living my own legend. He taught me to be uniquely and un-apologetically me, sharing my unique gifts with the world. One of my favorite quotes from Scott that embodies to me writing this blog and sharing it with all of you: “Being vulnerable means knowing who you are and having the courage to share it with the world. To show up, not as who you want to be or who you want people to think you are, but as you – and to be open and welcoming to however the world reacts to it. One of the coolest parts about doing that? When you’re you, it gives other people permission to be them. And that is one of the best gift you could give.” ~ Scott Dinsmore So dear readers, please remember the blessings that you already have in your life (with or without children), as you never know when your life is going to get snatched away in an instant. As one of Scott’s followers said: We may know how much we have in our bank account, but we don’t know how much we have in our TIME account. Use your time wisely. Remember that a great life doesn’t have to fit a mold (two adults, 2.5 kids, home with picket fence). A great life can look a gah-zillion different ways. What does YOUR great life look like? Are you living it now? I wish you all the best on your journey. If infertility treatment does not work for you (as it did not for us), please remember that there is life on the other side of infertility. And you can make it great! Please join us next week to hear more about our personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. Warm regards, Cathy