At the beginning of September, I went to a Bruce Springsteen concert with a friend of my husband’s. I have been a longtime fan of Bruce’s ever since I was 14 (so, most of my life), and I’ve seen him no fewer than 10 times. I know what to expect at a Bruce Springsteen concert. Still, I wasn’t prepared for what actually happened.
I was having the best time at the concert. One minute I was singing and dancing away; the next minute I had a feeling wash over me. The best way I can describe it is that I felt so deliciously alive. I’d felt this before – at prior Bruce Springsteen concerts, when I completed both of my marathons, when I made needlepoint gifts for friends.
When I felt this at the concert, I welcomed it. Then I realized, I hadn’t felt this way in a long time.
Later, when I sat down and thought about my experience at the concert, I realized that I used to do lots of things I loved – playing and listening to music, needlepoint, writing in my journal. And even exercise – as you know, exercise isn’t on top of the list of things that I love to do, but it had also been absent from my life, and I missed the euphoric feeling that it gave me.
I found myself feeling like I’d become a “shell” of my former self. It wasn’t a great feeling; I was both sad and shocked. When I reflected on this some more, I pinpointed the time that I lost myself as my fertility journey, 4 years ago. I became so consumed by trying to conceive – the doctor’s visits, procedures, medications, stress. It’s a journey that requires immense focus and can overtake your life.
It did for me. Even though I had come out successful on my path and now have a son, I hadn’t resumed my interests and passions for 4 years.
And, as happened to me, sometimes you can lose your way and not even realize it until you get a wake-up call like I did at the concert.
Do you feel like this has happened to you as well? It can be very disheartening to feel like you’ve lost your way but the good news is, all hope is not lost. It’s entirely possible to find yourself again, if you’re willing to do the work.
Here are some tips for reclaiming your life on your fertility journey:
This process can be healing and liberating, and the best part is, when we make ourselves whole again, we’re becoming the best possible person that we can be – which enables us to be more present and loving to our future babies. The best mama is a happy mama.
Do you feel that you’ve lost part of yourself on your quest to conceive? Are there things that you’d like to bring back into your life? I’d love to hear what steps you’re taking to reclaim your Self – leave me a comment below!
Happy self-exploring!
Stephanie xo
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